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Another July 4th! 2019

2 Jul

The 4th of July is a great holiday because it is not necessary to buy presents to show love. It is not difficult to decorate. You really only need a flag. And failing that, you can wear red, white, and blue clothes. That will show your support and keep you from running around naked at the same time!

I am a proud American. A patriot. And that is out of favor with some people these days. Sadly patriotism has been linked to all sorts of bad things, like White Supremacism and somehow, racism? How did this happen? It is horrifying to me to see people turning their backs on this country even at the same time that thousands of refugees and seekers of a better life are trying with all their might to enter it.

This great country has given everyone the freedom to criticize it. And there are no limits to their criticism. But sometimes I wish we could send all these ungrateful people to a third world country just for the weekend. That is probably all the time that they would need to understand. The biggest freedom of all is that ANYONE can rise to any height in this country, and no one will even think it is strange. That is what we do here. We rise, we fall, we have freedom of choice. In spite of all the bad press, we really do NOT have a class system in the United States. You are free to move up and down the scale.

Now it is full summer, and though the weather has been changeable and full of storms. It is sweltering now. Sometimes so hot that you wish you didn’t have to wear clothes at all. My mind is on heat because I am writing this in the middle of the day in my Mother’s house. She is so old that she likes it to be very warm. This house has never been air-conditioned, and it is hot and sticky everywhere inside it. But she is happy.

The rest of us run around fanning ourselves and hiding out in an air-conditioned bedroom as long as we can. Turning fans on and then off when Mother is near. Even the “draft” from a fan is too much for her.

She does not really understand that the 4th of July is nearly here. She has experienced her share of them and more! The changes she has seen in her 101 years of life include the Great Depression, the Second World War, the cold war and the civil rights movement and the assassination of a President and several other leaders. The rise of terrorism and the destruction of the Twin Towers along with the dot.com boom and bust have all happened in her old age. And yet she perseveres and continues to dress in her colorful finery with polished fingernails, and toenails. She wears lipstick to breakfast. She no longer really understands the words in the Daily papers. But she can read those words without using glasses. This is something I, her daughter have not been able to do in years.

Happy 4th of July!

Copyright©. 2019 Bonnie B. Matheson

Hypocrisy

9 Apr

Good words.

Sadly this country seems to have lost it’s mind. We are prisoners of our own ridiculous new rules. People seem to have forgotten common sense completely. Herd mentality and venal accusations against anyone on the other side of an argument fills the news.

That teenager who stood his ground while confronted by a native American who was drumming in his face is a good example. The press completely lied about the incident. They showed clips meant to disturb people and stir up anti- white behavior.

Actually the News has become the new KKK. They are burning crosses but not in people’s yards. They are doing it on National TV.

I just watched a clip on Candice Owens in a hearing with Rep. Ted Lieu (D-CA) where he played part of a clip of her words without bothering to find out the rest. Everyone is trying to smear everyone else. What good does that do? Gas-lighting constantly and then denying it, is the norm now.

The democrats are posting the abbreviated clip and saying that Lieu obliterated her, while the Republicans have posted the entire clip and boast that Candice Owen obliterated Representative Lieu. Both are right depending on which clip they watched.

It is really hard to have a pleasant discussion with anyone who is on a different side because they say you are a terrible person. At least that is what they say to me. They call me a racist, and elitist, and anti-gay, homophobic, anti-Islamic, anti-vaccine, anti-rabies, you name it. Think of something bad and that is what they will call me.


But I am a rather peaceful grandmother, who writes for a living. I live with my mother who, as most of you know is 101 years old. I am not a bad person. I don’t wish anyone ill. There is no group that I dislike especially. And certainly not any race or religion or sexual orientation that offends me just by being. I have friends in all those groups and others that I do not care for in the same groups. That is human. Normal. Get over it.

Some people are totally anti-woman. So what? They are outnumbered and the law supports women, not misogynists. But it seems a real waste of time to confront them. Everything is open to me as a woman. Why should I complain about sexism? Who cares? I am not a victim. I just go out and do what I wish to do.

There is no point in condemning a whole group. Individually we are all just humans, trying to get along. I learned years ago that keeping feelings of resentment and anger against another person, poisons the one who is holding onto evil feelings. It surprises me when I run into someone, like I did today who says, ” I will NEVER forget. I will Never forgive.”

I liked this woman immediately and I wanted to tell her the truth about what her attitude would end up doing to her. But I barely hinted at it. She must discover this for herself. As long as she is angry she will give power AWAY and she will give it TO THE VERY PEOPLE with whom she is angry.

Holding a grudge, holding resentment, holding anger are all like holding hot coals. Eventually you will burn yourself, if you refuse to let them go.

Let’s let go.

Today I read a wonderful post about Joe Biden.https://www.richmond.com/opinion/their-opinion/page-evans-column-hugging-makes-joe-biden-who-he-is/article_a1f16262-43b3-5a3d-957f-47dfa97e9d27.amp.html I am not a fan of Joe Biden. But the article was written by someone who is not only a fan, but a personal friend. Page Evans wrote this article for the Richmond Times Dispatch. She exposed the silliness of all these accusations against a man who is completely innocent of any wrong doing. He got caught up in the “Me, too” movements complete paranoia and fascism. Joe Biden is not a pedophile or a womanizer. And I feel sorry for him for what the Republicans are putting him through. They are mad because of what happened to poor Judge Kavanaugh. That was so embarrassing to the Left. They still have not figured that out. Good Heavens! A boy teenager. A girl, (maybe) and a possible memory. It is not enough to knock someone out of a job.

The point is, that everyone has their own take on a lot of these things. Some people will side with a Native American over a white boy, just because. Just like in the South, it was once the case that white people sided with the white boy. Times change. And what is OK changes with the times. There are some in my cohort who will never be reconstructed. You will just have wait for us to die off before all opposition ceases. I hope that is not too soon, because much of what they think is needed for balance.

Copyright©. 2019 Bonnie B. Matheson

What can be done about the young people growing up today?

1 Dec

It is absolutely unbelievable to me how impaired young people are today. Political correctness gone wild … I am so tired of being called a racist, homophobic, Nazi, Elitist! I am not any of those things. But, I do say my truth. It may be different than someone else’s truth because of their background or indoctrination!
The fact that our colleges and universities have become so expensive and yet they are turning kids against their grandparents is shocking!! One of my favorite grandsons is refusing to talk to me right now, because of my views. Specifically, I said in my blog that I agreed with Meagan Kelly that “blackface” as a costume is harmless and no insult to blacks. And I believe that!
Now in my 70s I have more and more friends who are black. I consider them a blessing in my life. And yet, I am frequently called “racist”. Go figure!   When I was young and knew no one except casual servers who were black, then it was probably true.  If you want to end racism, you need to get people together.  Keeping them separate does not do it.  And yet, there is a black history month, and black students Union at some schools.  It is true that sometimes it is easier to be with people who are exactly like you, but no one is.

 

I don’t have an appropriate photo, so here is my dog, Magnus. He has manners and civility, both.

Today I went to a luncheon where most people disliked the President of the United States.  That is allowed, in this country. No one will arrest them for their views.  But, one man said something that has really made me think.  Someone asked “What ever happened to civility and manners?” And He said “That was before they began to calling manners and civility ‘Political Correctness’ and mocking them.”

This surprised me.  I NEVER think of manners as being politically correct.  Manners are simply manners.  But, it is true that Political Correctness stops conversation. It is true that it shames people, on purpose. To me Political Correctness is the thing that keeps us from being able to speak truthfully about anything that might be called a stereotype.  Where do you think Stereotypes come from? It comes from things being lumped together, rightly or wrongly.

Stereotype threat describes the experience of “being at risk of confirming, as self-characteristic, a negative stereotype of one’s group” (Steel & Aronson, 1995).
I had never heard of Stereotype threat until I began writing this blog.  It is a perfect example of the nonsense we are told daily. I “get it” but I do not agree that forcing people to avoid any possible chance of running into a stereotype is helping them.  People simply must “get a grip”.
I want to be free to say what I  believe without being traumatized by the threat of breaking some code of political correctness.  I have no intention of using bad manners. There is no reason for anything but civility.  So I do not understand that man’s saying that those who “mock” Political Correctness (that would be me) are contributing to a lack of manners or civility.

My contention is that we need a lot more of both of those things.  Manners are not taught to children like they once were.  And Civil disobedience is encouraged on school campuses.  No wonder we are living in a time when both are lacking.

A friend wrote about the young today:

“They need a taste of reality. For our parents, it was a World War, for us it was Viet Nam. These kids have seen no suffering. They have been been indulged, have no manners, and are incapable of serious logical thinking. “
I agree with him.

 

Copyright©.  2018 Bonnie B. Matheson

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