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Renewed energy after fifty

21 Jan

Margaret Mead called it “Post Menopausal Zest” and it is real.  Once the trials and tribulations of the first fifty years are over we suddenly look around and realize we are not tired. This is the time to make a list of all the things you wish you had done before. Sometimes it is best to allow yourself a little time to unwind first.  Play a song on your MP3 or CD player.  Look deeply for a while at the sky.  Gaze at a flower or a leaf.  Decompress. Then, find a quiet place and begin writing.  List things no matter how unusual or impractical. No one ever has to see this list. Enjoy yourself. Then go on about your daily routine.  Later go back and look at the list you have made.  Is there something on it that “jumps out” at you?  Is there something you could do right away? If so why not do it?

There will also be things on your list that are out of reach.  But how far out of reach are they?  I went back to college at fifty and starting from scratch earned a degree in Psychology.  Some women join a group. If you always wanted to run for office, find out where the nearest campaign center is and join up.  You never know where it could lead. If there are things you wish you had learned to do that are simply impossible due to age related lack of agility, either work on regaining your supple body or else become and fan of whatever sport or athletic endeavor you are passionate about.

You have no idea how great your potential may be.  Stretch yourself. Do not allow a negative thought to enter your mind. If in the past someone told you that you could not do something and you believed them, think again. So many of us are stopped by some imagined lack in ourselves. Many are still replaying old tapes of conversations held years ago with a person who discouraged or forbid following a loved path.  Rewrite your tapes.

Please let me know of any successes you have. I am cheering for you!

Read my book Ahead of the Curve, an intimate conversation with women in the second half of life.

what on earth are people thinking?

7 Sep

Women are daft when it comes to meeting men. They all say that there are no men out there.  Of course the men all say that they cannot find a woman. What is going on here?

With all the online websites for singles there really is no reason women and men cannot find each other.  Just be careful and smart about how you go about it.  Don’t give out personal information until you feel completely secure about someone. Don’t get your hopes up too high.  Men and women, too tend to glorify their pictures and physical descriptions so be prepared to be disappointed when you meet. It is rare that lightening strikes and bells ring.  Just look for friends to begin with. If you make a friend out of someone you meet online it could always lead to something more with that person or with a mutual friend. Don’t get discouraged and don’t stop trying.

It is when we stop that we begin to atrophy. As long as you are still taking chances and still putting yourself out there you have the opportunity to succeed. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. But I am sure you already know that.

It is actually quite an adventure.  You must be brave enough to start.  Then just have fun with it.  Do not think of it as a waste of time. By the same token, don’t become so focused that you do nothing else.  There are so many ways to meet people. It is better to try more than one. Join more than one dating site.  Go to meetings of groups that appeal to you. Go to fairs and farmers markets. If you see someone who seems attractive to you, just ask then for directions or any simple question to see if there is a similar interest on their part. It is fine if the man says “Let me ask my wife.” or something like that because that simply tells you that he is unavailable. Move on. Try another person. Try another question.

Take up a sport that you have always wanted to learn. Try dance classes, or language courses.  Political meetings are great places to meet people. Try to push the envelope a bit. Don’t panic. Of course if you are truly frightened of doing something alone then you can always go with a friend.  But it is better if you go solo. That way if things get interesting you don’t have to worry about what to do with your friend. Once you have ventured out somewhat you can do it more easily. Like anything else practice makes perfect. As the feelings of fear and timidity diminish you will have more and more fun. That way, no matter whether you succeed in meeting someone wonderful of just chat with smiling strangers, you will have had an enjoyable time.

Staying home with a good book is fun.  Sitting and watching a movie on TV is fun.  But if that is ALL you do you will atrophy.  You are vital and alive.  Get moving.  Take chances on getting embarrassed and give the thing you are doing your best effort. This alone will make you feel good about yourself.
Meeting strangers for coffee may seem crazy but it is most often fun. Even if you feel that you never care to see them again the practice will be good for you when it is time to try it with someone who really excites you.  If you keep at it this will happen.  You will find yourself wreathed in smiles and talking to someone who just seems to “get you”. But you must take the first step.  Leave your house. Take the necessary action.

Good luck to you.

Sparkle on!

Important quote

24 Jan

“One must always maintain one’s connection to the past and yet ceaselessly pull away from it.” – Gaston Bachelard


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