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Hypocrisy

9 Apr

Good words.

Sadly this country seems to have lost it’s mind. We are prisoners of our own ridiculous new rules. People seem to have forgotten common sense completely. Herd mentality and venal accusations against anyone on the other side of an argument fills the news.

That teenager who stood his ground while confronted by a native American who was drumming in his face is a good example. The press completely lied about the incident. They showed clips meant to disturb people and stir up anti- white behavior.

Actually the News has become the new KKK. They are burning crosses but not in people’s yards. They are doing it on National TV.

I just watched a clip on Candice Owens in a hearing with Rep. Ted Lieu (D-CA) where he played part of a clip of her words without bothering to find out the rest. Everyone is trying to smear everyone else. What good does that do? Gas-lighting constantly and then denying it, is the norm now.

The democrats are posting the abbreviated clip and saying that Lieu obliterated her, while the Republicans have posted the entire clip and boast that Candice Owen obliterated Representative Lieu. Both are right depending on which clip they watched.

It is really hard to have a pleasant discussion with anyone who is on a different side because they say you are a terrible person. At least that is what they say to me. They call me a racist, and elitist, and anti-gay, homophobic, anti-Islamic, anti-vaccine, anti-rabies, you name it. Think of something bad and that is what they will call me.


But I am a rather peaceful grandmother, who writes for a living. I live with my mother who, as most of you know is 101 years old. I am not a bad person. I don’t wish anyone ill. There is no group that I dislike especially. And certainly not any race or religion or sexual orientation that offends me just by being. I have friends in all those groups and others that I do not care for in the same groups. That is human. Normal. Get over it.

Some people are totally anti-woman. So what? They are outnumbered and the law supports women, not misogynists. But it seems a real waste of time to confront them. Everything is open to me as a woman. Why should I complain about sexism? Who cares? I am not a victim. I just go out and do what I wish to do.

There is no point in condemning a whole group. Individually we are all just humans, trying to get along. I learned years ago that keeping feelings of resentment and anger against another person, poisons the one who is holding onto evil feelings. It surprises me when I run into someone, like I did today who says, ” I will NEVER forget. I will Never forgive.”

I liked this woman immediately and I wanted to tell her the truth about what her attitude would end up doing to her. But I barely hinted at it. She must discover this for herself. As long as she is angry she will give power AWAY and she will give it TO THE VERY PEOPLE with whom she is angry.

Holding a grudge, holding resentment, holding anger are all like holding hot coals. Eventually you will burn yourself, if you refuse to let them go.

Let’s let go.

Today I read a wonderful post about Joe Biden.https://www.richmond.com/opinion/their-opinion/page-evans-column-hugging-makes-joe-biden-who-he-is/article_a1f16262-43b3-5a3d-957f-47dfa97e9d27.amp.html I am not a fan of Joe Biden. But the article was written by someone who is not only a fan, but a personal friend. Page Evans wrote this article for the Richmond Times Dispatch. She exposed the silliness of all these accusations against a man who is completely innocent of any wrong doing. He got caught up in the “Me, too” movements complete paranoia and fascism. Joe Biden is not a pedophile or a womanizer. And I feel sorry for him for what the Republicans are putting him through. They are mad because of what happened to poor Judge Kavanaugh. That was so embarrassing to the Left. They still have not figured that out. Good Heavens! A boy teenager. A girl, (maybe) and a possible memory. It is not enough to knock someone out of a job.

The point is, that everyone has their own take on a lot of these things. Some people will side with a Native American over a white boy, just because. Just like in the South, it was once the case that white people sided with the white boy. Times change. And what is OK changes with the times. There are some in my cohort who will never be reconstructed. You will just have wait for us to die off before all opposition ceases. I hope that is not too soon, because much of what they think is needed for balance.

Copyright©. 2019 Bonnie B. Matheson

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A Puppy for 99 yr old Mother

3 Apr

Our Mother was lonely for a dog who loved her. She told us so one night after dinner. My sister and I were both staying at her the house. What she said was; “I am lonely.” and we both pricked up our ears, worried we were not doing enough.  But she continued, “I am lonely for a dog who loves just me.”

My sister Dede and I conspired. Mother needed a new dog. A dachshund like all the others she had.  A red, long-haired bitch preferably. Her existing dogs were just too old to be any good. Gloria was almost 16 and Cinderella really belonged to Maria, the cook.  And she was pretty old as well, nearly 15. No wonder mother had no dog to love.


“We don’t want a young puppy, but an older dog.” we agreed. We knew buying a puppy would be crazy. Our mother was 99 years old. Her skin was like tissue paper. Puppy teeth are sharp as razors. They are not housebroken. They can be wild and crazy and too active for an old woman.

Dede said she knew someone who handled rescue dogs in California. She naturally knew all there was to know about this, and everything else. She knew and she would handle it.

“Fine”, I said.

Nothing much happened on her end, though. Time passed and she did not contact me with any good news. I was willing to let her arrange things, but just in case I began to look for other alternatives.

I found Puppy Spot online. We had never heard of this company. But I saw good reviews.

It was quiet from California. No news at all. Mother often mentioned how much she wanted a dog of her own. And in the meantime, I was in touch with https://www.puppyspot.com/. They said they had a puppy.

I said “NO”.

“No puppies need apply. It would be nuts to buy a puppy. Absolutely NOT. We do not want a puppy. Under any circumstances. NO, No, no.”

Amber was knowledgeable and patient. She let me rant.
She kept telling me how fine this puppy was. I asked how old it was.

“4 months.” She said.
“Nope.  No puppies. Absolutely NO puppies, because that would be nuts.”  Mother was 99 years old.  They won’t even sell a dog to someone that age.  We had to promise to take the dog if and when anything happened to my mother. I promised with no reservations because I love dogs.

But we still had no dog. That was mostly my fault because I kept telling everyone No puppies. Absolutely NO puppies. We need an older dog. It would be crazy to buy a puppy for our 99 year old mother. No sane person would do that, right?

Time passed.

I wrote to Dede to see how the search was going in California, for an older rescue dog. Surely she must have found something.

Nada.

She had been busy, the woman had not called her back.

The people from Puppy Spot called me again. They still had no older dog.

But at Puppy Spot, that puppy was still available. “You should really consider this wonderful puppy.  He is a great little dog.” Said Amber.


He was now a whole month older than before. (5 months instead of 4)

Baby photos of Dandy

I said AGAIN, “NO!  We do not want a puppy for our 99 year old mother. No. no. not ever. Puppies have sharp teeth, the chew things up, they whine and they pee all over the house.” Especially dachshunds (of every age). So after listening patiently Amber said “Would you mind if I sent you a couple of photos?”

“Sure, go ahead.” What harm could do it cause?

Haha!!!  Those photos were so cute. The puppy was wearing a tie, like a man’s tie but just his size.  He had an expression on his face best described as a smirk. He was so adorable I could not stop looking at the photo.  That dog looked like he had the personality of an angel.  So sweet and cuddly and small and supple.
The photo made anyone who saw it want to own the puppy.

I sent the photos to Dede.
“Buy the dog” she replied.

So we did.  The puppy had to be shipped from Missouri to National Airport.  Someone drove me to pick him up at the service part of the airport.  We got him out of the crate in which he was flown. And he sat in my arms the entire ride home cuddling.

When we arrived I realized that I must be very careful NOT to let him bond with me. And I must be careful to not fall in love with the dog which was supposed to be my Mothers’.  So I went right to her dressing room and put the puppy in her arms.  And then I left that part of the house. I basically hid in my room all day.  I needed to stay away otherwise I would be the one holding that puppy.

Dandy Dude today.


I needn’t have worried. Dandy Dude seemed to understand from the beginning who his owner was.  He was tolerant of the other dogs but he did not give them much thought. He knew Mother was his person.  And he has been absolutely marvelous with her from the beginning.

We have had no problems with the puppy teeth and though he is less than housebroken he is careful of Mothers room.  Everybody loves him. It has been a marvelous thing for my mother.  She is now 101 years old and perfectly healthy.  She has a loving dog who goes everywhere that she does.  He protects her, guards her, sleeps in her bed and eats any food she drops.  

You might be surprised how a parent will react to a dog of their own.  It can be a lifesaver!

Copyright©. 2019 Bonnie B. Matheson

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Gratitude

21 Feb

 Thursday, Feb 21, 2019 —

                                                                            Gratitude

 I am spending a weekend in the country, at an adorable cottage on my daughter’s farm, near The Plains, VA. The weather has gone from a temperature of 67 degrees when I arrived on Friday, to a cold wet rain with the threat of snow or sleet on Sunday night.  It’s typical Virginia late winter/early spring weather. I don’t believe it will snow tonight. But still, the weather is a constant mystery. And I love it. The fact that it is so changeable is fun. I have plenty of warm clothes. And I am so grateful for everything. So grateful to have the chance to come here and decompress.

The fireplace in the cottage is made of stone, not firebrick, and it throws off a lot of heat. There is a joke around the farm, about how much wood I use. It is true that I am profligate with wood burning; I love the sight and sound of an open fire so much. I could stare at the fire for hours–It brings all sorts of imagination to the fore. Before I knew about meditation, I loved to look at the fire in a fireplace and let my mind rest. “Sometimes I sets and thinks, and sometimes, I just sets” is an old Virginia expression to which I relate. And a fire in the fireplace is one trigger for that same sort of non-thinking that meditation brings about. Restful in the extreme.

Everywhere I look, there is beauty, and peace. A huge pond ripples and glistens with reflected light from the sky– no sun today but a glistening, rippling expanse of water that seems to be trying to move outside its banks. Hundreds of daffodils are emerging, halfway up out of the ground. They must be confused by the different signals that Mother Nature is sending them.” Rise Up!” “No, never mind. Hang tight.” And though the leaves on the poor little struggling spring flowers have brown tips where frost has tainted them, the stems will soar, soon enough and blossoms open. Yellow blooms will extend soon down the driveway and we will know for sure that spring is here. We are on the way to the month of March now. More than halfway through February.

The gratitude I feel extends well past this farm. The entire countryside, unblemished by commercial space or even many houses, is open to all the wildlife that lives here. Deer herds are actually a problem. Bears are sighted regularly, and possums and raccoons and squirrels and rabbits and chipmunks abound. Birds are plentiful; even hawks and eagles soar in the sky above this county. Riders on horseback and runners on foot share these roads with bicyclers, who seem to come in droves. No wonder they are here. We have hundreds of miles of dirt roads. We also have wonderful two- lane, paved roads, which many people wish the bicyclers would stay off. I do worry about someone running them down, by accident.

When I wake up here in the cottage, my heart is full the moment I realize I am in my own bed, my old bed from my own, former house.  Here in the cottage, of course, it is different from city living. Sometimes the heat is off, or it is intensely windy. At times like that I am grateful for the curtains surrounding my bed, and I draw them the moment I get in. It makes a little house for me to stay, snug and warm, and cuddling my dog, Magnus, for added warmth.

Most of the time, I now live in Washington, D.C. with my 101 year old mother. I sleep in my old room, in my childhood house.  There is already a bed in that room, SO, there was no point in bringing my bed to Washington. Besides, my bed is a four-poster, with high posts. We did measure to see if it would fit in my bedroom at Mother’s, but it would not because the eaves in that bedroom come down too close and too low. So. I sleep in the bed that was there, missing my own bed in the cottage, with its pretty hangings which I can draw if it gets too cold. At Mother’s, the central heat is very effective. There is no need for bed-hangings.

My sensitivity to gratitude has been heightened by meditation. I believe that meditation has altered something in me, and I am forever changed. When such intense gratitude engulfs me, I wallow in it. Being grateful for the gratitude may sound silly. But that is how I feel. And I believe it is contagious. Be careful. You might catch it from reading this.

If I let myself, I will never be able to stop thinking of things for which to be grateful. For the peace that engulfs me, and all the things around me. The sheets on the bed, the feather pillows upon which I rest my head and the duvet that keeps me cosy. My warm dog, who sleeps beside me every night. My fireplace and tiny kitchen, indoor plumbing and central heat and air conditioning.

Best of all for daily comfort is Magnus. What a marvelous thing it is to have a loving dog. I appreciate him for the companionship he gives. We all need something to love and if you do not have a partner, it is important to find something else upon whom to bestow your affection. Dogs are super easy to love, and they love us unconditionally. Never underestimate the power of love, even the love between a dog and its owner. That feeling of love actually sends positive physiological signals to our bodies and our souls. Thank goodness for pets, all varieties.  I am grateful.

Magnus

                                                                                         **

Copyright©.  2019 Bonnie B. Matheson

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