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14 May

I was at an elegant dinner party recently where I met an interesting young man named Devron Johnson.  He spoke with such good sense about the world today, we have continued our discourse.

He emailed me about his writing, asking for suggestions for staying focused (Haha!!! I am not focused most of the time, but I have learned some tricks.)

“I have been studying the Philosophy of Stoicism and the teachings of Marcus Aurelius since I was in middle school…Maybe this is why I tend to see things without too much emotion and clouded judgement.” He said.

Marcus Aurelius, I should have known! Devron is an intellectual. He has an open mind, it is splendid to see such in a young black man of the 2000s.

(Especially in the era of Black Lives Matter, because those people do not appear to read anything except violent, angry material. What interests them are attacks against white people who really are not nearly as prejudiced as themselves.)

The Meditations are marvelous. Perhaps it would be helpful to young people if some schools or parents or police or some form of authority, tried to forbid kids to read about the Stoics. Certainly, Meditations is seditious information because by using it for instruction a man can control himself and therefore he can control others (especially if they have not read it). Perhaps if it were forbidden they would flock to read it and learn some of the greatest lessons ever taught.


Not going to happen, but I am impressed that he read Marcus Aurelius in middle school.  He must have had a mentor or a really good teacher or divine help with his reading. (I am only partly kidding about the Divine help.)
Here is a link to his blog:
“As for the not playing victim. Being a victim or playing victim will never help or improve anybody or any situation. I think that is the problem for a lot of millennials (my generation), and ethnicities (specifically Black people) who were once oppressed. Yes there is still racism, sexism, classicism, etc. However, there has been a lot of improvement and it should not be used as a crutch today. “ he added.

I agree with everything he said about victimhood.  Not useful.  And anyone who sees themselves as a victim gives power to the thing or entity by whom they feel victimized.

It is NOT the same thing but there is still some discrimination against women. I have been privileged my entire life and yet even I have experienced it.

And then, of course, there was the sexual harassment which we all grew up with in my time. It was not even remarked upon.  It was just ‘the way it was’.  But most women had their ways of combating it.  Most women were not as downtrodden as young women today appear to believe we were. 

Women stuck together.  Women basically controlled the family, even though the man might bring home the money.  Women raised their sons and daughters and a lot of men practically worshipped their mothers.  Women did OK for the most part.  

It is only NOW when they are educated and independent that they seem to feel like such victims. They have become whining snowflakes. It is unbecoming, to our sex. I have absolutely NO patience with it.  Women are NOT second class citizens. They never were even before we had the vote.  We had our ways.  We have always been able to run circles around men. We think differently. It is a gift or perhaps it is evolution. We have evolved for survival’s sake to know how to protect ourselves and generally get our way.

Copyright©. 2019 Bonnie B. Matheson

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Memoir Writing

8 May

Once again I attended a writers workshop intended to help us write a memoir. It was a marvelous getaway in Brookneal Virginia, well below Charlottesville by nearly 2 hours.

Staunton Hill is lovely. The sense of tranquility and rapturous peace surrounds the guests there. It would be so nice to spend a few weeks here, in great comfort and quiet. It would be possible to write uninterrupted for hours at a time.


It was a charming weekend, and the company was congenial. We are all tentative but driven to write a memoir. And for some of us, it will be many memoirs. The fun thing about memoir is that you do not have to tell “The Whole Story.” You can pick a time frame or an event or both and just concentrate on that. Then later you can do the same with some other event or time period. This may keep me busy for the rest of my life!

The most important thing is to keep doing it. Don’t stop. Don’t get scared and put the writing away to be forgotten. Finish it. The best advice I ever got about writing came from Ernest B. Furgurson who wrote several wonderful books about the Civil War. He said “set deadlines”. And he was right.

Ever since he told me that, my writing has increased and my finished writing has increased tenfold. That gives me satisfaction and makes me want to write more. So the overall effect has been tremendous.

I recommend going to workshops if you can because it drives you to improve and to complete tasks during that time. So just like deadlines, the assignments of the teacher or facilitator make you finish.

Copyright©. 2019 Bonnie B. Matheson

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Waiting on hold…

26 Apr

My web service provider is It used to be Network Solutions which was a wonderful, responsive company. They answered the phone with live people. They listened and their prices were reasonable. I was happy with Network Solutions. I bought my very first Domaine name through that company on June 23rd 1999.

Unbeknownst to me, they were acquired by is a terrible company. It has none of the wonderful characteristics that Network Solutions had in the past. The wait times are unbelievable. The service is awful. I have been trying to get them to remove some information from my site for one entire month.

Just now I have been on the phone for close to an hour. I am trying to discover what a monthly bill for $91.95 is and it turns out that I have been paying this amount since 2012 for a website that I own but do not really do much with. Most people don’t even know about that one anymore. It is my own fault that I did not check out what that bill was for. But at that time, that credit card was used for so much and such varied things that I just did not pick up on it. I guess I believed it was for hosting or something mysterious.

Now having spent over 2 hours on the phone and completing this blog post during my ‘ long holds’. I have spoken with various departments at Network Solutions and Every single person I spoke with was polite and patient. I loved them all. However, it did not go well. It took me so long to find out what each charge was for. Often the response was “We cannot see anything that is done by that department. And they cannot see anything that we do.” So it is no wonder the right hand never knows what the left hand is doing.

In the end nothing much happened except, I discovered what some of the charges were. Some of which I actually needed. I was able to cancel the $91.95 per month, which I have been paying every month for 7 years. But I was not able to fix the wrong information on my site. I am not doing life coaching right now, and I did want a city named. Please do not contact me about that.

I wish I could say it was all resolved, but it wasn’t.
To be continued….

Copyright©. 2019 Bonnie B. Matheson

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