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9 Apr

Good words.

Sadly this country seems to have lost it’s mind. We are prisoners of our own ridiculous new rules. People seem to have forgotten common sense completely. Herd mentality and venal accusations against anyone on the other side of an argument fills the news.

That teenager who stood his ground while confronted by a native American who was drumming in his face is a good example. The press completely lied about the incident. They showed clips meant to disturb people and stir up anti- white behavior.

Actually the News has become the new KKK. They are burning crosses but not in people’s yards. They are doing it on National TV.

I just watched a clip on Candice Owens in a hearing with Rep. Ted Lieu (D-CA) where he played part of a clip of her words without bothering to find out the rest. Everyone is trying to smear everyone else. What good does that do? Gas-lighting constantly and then denying it, is the norm now.

The democrats are posting the abbreviated clip and saying that Lieu obliterated her, while the Republicans have posted the entire clip and boast that Candice Owen obliterated Representative Lieu. Both are right depending on which clip they watched.

It is really hard to have a pleasant discussion with anyone who is on a different side because they say you are a terrible person. At least that is what they say to me. They call me a racist, and elitist, and anti-gay, homophobic, anti-Islamic, anti-vaccine, anti-rabies, you name it. Think of something bad and that is what they will call me.

But I am a rather peaceful grandmother, who writes for a living. I live with my mother who, as most of you know is 101 years old. I am not a bad person. I don’t wish anyone ill. There is no group that I dislike especially. And certainly not any race or religion or sexual orientation that offends me just by being. I have friends in all those groups and others that I do not care for in the same groups. That is human. Normal. Get over it.

Some people are totally anti-woman. So what? They are outnumbered and the law supports women, not misogynists. But it seems a real waste of time to confront them. Everything is open to me as a woman. Why should I complain about sexism? Who cares? I am not a victim. I just go out and do what I wish to do.

There is no point in condemning a whole group. Individually we are all just humans, trying to get along. I learned years ago that keeping feelings of resentment and anger against another person, poisons the one who is holding onto evil feelings. It surprises me when I run into someone, like I did today who says, ” I will NEVER forget. I will Never forgive.”

I liked this woman immediately and I wanted to tell her the truth about what her attitude would end up doing to her. But I barely hinted at it. She must discover this for herself. As long as she is angry she will give power AWAY and she will give it TO THE VERY PEOPLE with whom she is angry.

Holding a grudge, holding resentment, holding anger are all like holding hot coals. Eventually you will burn yourself, if you refuse to let them go.

Let’s let go.

Today I read a wonderful post about Joe Biden. I am not a fan of Joe Biden. But the article was written by someone who is not only a fan, but a personal friend. Page Evans wrote this article for the Richmond Times Dispatch. She exposed the silliness of all these accusations against a man who is completely innocent of any wrong doing. He got caught up in the “Me, too” movements complete paranoia and fascism. Joe Biden is not a pedophile or a womanizer. And I feel sorry for him for what the Republicans are putting him through. They are mad because of what happened to poor Judge Kavanaugh. That was so embarrassing to the Left. They still have not figured that out. Good Heavens! A boy teenager. A girl, (maybe) and a possible memory. It is not enough to knock someone out of a job.

The point is, that everyone has their own take on a lot of these things. Some people will side with a Native American over a white boy, just because. Just like in the South, it was once the case that white people sided with the white boy. Times change. And what is OK changes with the times. There are some in my cohort who will never be reconstructed. You will just have wait for us to die off before all opposition ceases. I hope that is not too soon, because much of what they think is needed for balance.

Copyright©. 2019 Bonnie B. Matheson

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A trip to Mount Vernon

30 Mar

My cousins were visiting Washington DC, from Michigan along with their 5 children. They invited me to go with them out to see Mount Vernon. These days when you say you are going there, it is necessary to say “George Washingtons’ Mount Vernon”. That is because there is a school called Mount Vernon and shopping centers, housing developments and probably Fire Departments, Hospitals and Churches all using that name. So off we went today to visit George Washingtons’, Mount Vernon.

It was a perfect day. Not too hot, not too cold and semi-cloudy so that we did not get a sunburn. The place is marvelous. The system of getting us in and out of different exhibits is great. We had tickets to go see the main house at 12:50pm so we explored the grounds while we waited. We saw the sheep in a small paddock with their lambs. That was fun. They were gamboling about and saying an occasional “Baaaa!” The extensive outbuildings are wonderful to explore and though there were a lot of people it was never VERY crowded. The people were very polite and well behaved. There was no pushing or shoving. Doors were opened for others, and “excuse me,thank you”and “I am sorry ” were phrases I overheard a lot. We visited with Martha Washington who stayed “in character” no matter what anyone asked. She appeared extremely knowledgeable. The children enjoyed listening to her as much as I did.

It was an overall pleasant experience. The tour of the house was fun too. So many pretty bedrooms and not a great many living areas when you think of the constant entertaining they were responsible for. No wonder they built the New Room. I loved the colors of the rooms with their bright paint. It was fun to imagine staying there and picking a room which might have been mine. I loved the fireplaces and the wallpaper and hangings in the bedrooms.

The New Room which was the last addition to the house is painted a turquoise color that I simply adore. I would love to paint a room that color. And the deep “emerald green” of the dining room was marvelous. It was accented by the deep blue glass of some of the table settings which caught my eye. The mantels were carved elaborately with animals and plants. It was clearly the house of a rich man. It must have been magnificent in the time in which George and Martha lived there. Few people, even rich planters, were able to build anything so elaborate.

Of course it is so well sighted that one can hardly miss finding it spectacular. The river bends and widens as it rounds the bluff on which the house is built. No wonder they kept adding to what was there instead of building somewhere else. It would be hard to find a better placement for a home. It was gorgeous then and it is gorgeous now.

Some very well behaved children and a billion dollar view.

Copyright©. 2019 Bonnie B. Matheson

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22 Mar

I have let the whole week slip by without getting up a blog post. How did that happen? People say “Thank God it is Friday”, but I dread it because Friday comes and there is still so much to do.

Perhaps that is because I am an entrepreneur at heart. I like being my own boss, but sometimes I disappoint myself when I don’t complete tasks that I certainly COULD have finished. Are you that way? I complete one task to avoid the next (possibly more important) one. It just makes so much sense to finish other things, and NOT work on the thing that is a constant event every week. I KNOW I must put up a blog post, and I want to put up a blog post. So why DON’T I do it?

That is a mystery that plagues a lot more people than just me. Is it fear of failure? Or is it fear of success? Naturally there is fear of condemnation, especially from my children. Their disapproval counts double or triple that of anyone else. The urge to write is so strong that I cannot fight it, and don’t want to. But the feeling that it is not important enough to bother putting out there, is real. Yet, I know this is almost universal. So perhaps by writing this, I will show someone that it is OK to feel that way.

Just write anyway.

I am designing a workshop for the “Self Care” of caregivers, and it may need a section on Procrastination. Since I am a caregiver for my mother who is 101 years old, I know why that self care is needed. It is something that I have been learning day by day, myself. And now that I am working on planning to design the workshop about it, I am finding ways to procrastinate about that.

In order to avoid writing ‘the plan’, I am supposed to write, I will get going on this blog post. It helps to get one thing done, while avoiding the other. What a silly and very “human” way to go about completing tasks. It is sort of like a clogged drain, or maybe a traffic jam. It takes something bigger and stronger to push the drain open or to force the cars forward, to open the space and keep things moving.

Spring is procrastinating, too.

Well, this may not have a happy ending. However the blog post is just about complete. What I need is more depth or something of interest. So reading this won’t be like watching the daffodils which just seem to be so slow this year. They have been poking through for months it seems. Now we are on the way to April. They are late. Perhaps procrastinating like me. Every day I go outside to look for even one bloom. I have cut Forsythia and some Camellias, but only two daffodils and that was last week. There are hundreds more to bloom But it has not happened yet. Would you call that procrastination on the part of Mother Nature?

Copyright©.  2019 Bonnie B. Matheson

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