The 4th Quarter

2 May

Which part of the game are you in? First half of life? The 3rd quarter? OK …How many of you are in the 4th quarter? I have lived more than 3/4 of a century. This is the 4th quarter for me. Pretty scary isn’t it?

As we age, our responsibilities change. For some it is moving their parent into an assisted living facility.

Life has many tangles. But we can control some of it.

Others find themselves suddenly single or have a mate who is very ill. Parnts sicken and die, children move home again after a divorce. And then there are the changes to our bodies…
These things can make us feel defeated and deflated.

There are many ways to bring yourself back from the edge of depression and despair or just plain boredom.

Even though by the 4th quarter, life has changed. It is possible to reinvent yourself at any age. And you can do this, no matter what the circumstances.

You know why? Because now, you just don’t give a damn what other people think.

My life changed 5 years ago when my Mother began to age at about 97. Gradually she lost her ability to live on her own. I reluctantly gave up my life in Charlottesville to stay with my mother in my old room, in my old house. She is now 101 years old.

And I have turned my life around. It’s fun and exciting to be here. How can we all make the 4th quarter great? There are several ways, but I will mention 2 of them.


This is my mission. I am telling it now.


First you can make a dramatic change.
Figure out what you can control.
Take a chance on something you always wished to do.
Some people downsize, or move to a retirement community, or a different state to be near their children and grandchildren.
Some people dare to realize a childhood dream.
One older woman who began to take voice lessons a few years ago, starred last Friday night in a one woman cabaret. She was fantastic. That took guts!!! But she was thrilled and even said so to the audience. “This is such fun!” She said. “You should all star in your own Cabaret!”

Another way is to become involved. Join things, volunteer, try a new sport, walk or run a 5K race, or learn to play Bridge.

There is so much to do in Washington DC. I decided to do only things that could be done right here. And I set out to make friends. For instance I joined the Capital Speakers Club and bonded with my class.
Any of you can do this. Turn your life around. Change. Don’t be afraid of the things you thought you would never do. DO THEM! And don’t be surprised if something miraculous happens.
Just as it often is in sports, the 4th quarter of the game of life can turn out to be the best, most exciting one of all.
Go for it!

Copyright©. 2019 Bonnie B. Matheson

Waiting on hold…

26 Apr

My web service provider is Web.com. It used to be Network Solutions which was a wonderful, responsive company. They answered the phone with live people. They listened and their prices were reasonable. I was happy with Network Solutions. I bought my very first Domaine name through that company on June 23rd 1999.

Unbeknownst to me, they were acquired by Web.com. Web.com is a terrible company. It has none of the wonderful characteristics that Network Solutions had in the past. The wait times are unbelievable. The service is awful. I have been trying to get them to remove some information from my site for one entire month.

Just now I have been on the phone for close to an hour. I am trying to discover what a monthly bill for $91.95 is and it turns out that I have been paying this amount since 2012 for a website that I own but do not really do much with. Most people don’t even know about that one anymore. It is my own fault that I did not check out what that bill was for. But at that time, that credit card was used for so much and such varied things that I just did not pick up on it. I guess I believed it was for hosting or something mysterious.

Now having spent over 2 hours on the phone and completing this blog post during my ‘ long holds’. I have spoken with various departments at Network Solutions and Web.com. Every single person I spoke with was polite and patient. I loved them all. However, it did not go well. It took me so long to find out what each charge was for. Often the response was “We cannot see anything that is done by that department. And they cannot see anything that we do.” So it is no wonder the right hand never knows what the left hand is doing.

In the end nothing much happened except, I discovered what some of the charges were. Some of which I actually needed. I was able to cancel the $91.95 per month, which I have been paying every month for 7 years. But I was not able to fix the wrong information on my site. I am not doing life coaching right now, and I did want a city named. Please do not contact me about that.

I wish I could say it was all resolved, but it wasn’t.
To be continued….

Copyright©. 2019 Bonnie B. Matheson

Hypocrisy

9 Apr

Good words.

Sadly this country seems to have lost it’s mind. We are prisoners of our own ridiculous new rules. People seem to have forgotten common sense completely. Herd mentality and venal accusations against anyone on the other side of an argument fills the news.

That teenager who stood his ground while confronted by a native American who was drumming in his face is a good example. The press completely lied about the incident. They showed clips meant to disturb people and stir up anti- white behavior.

Actually the News has become the new KKK. They are burning crosses but not in people’s yards. They are doing it on National TV.

I just watched a clip on Candice Owens in a hearing with Rep. Ted Lieu (D-CA) where he played part of a clip of her words without bothering to find out the rest. Everyone is trying to smear everyone else. What good does that do? Gas-lighting constantly and then denying it, is the norm now.

The democrats are posting the abbreviated clip and saying that Lieu obliterated her, while the Republicans have posted the entire clip and boast that Candice Owen obliterated Representative Lieu. Both are right depending on which clip they watched.

It is really hard to have a pleasant discussion with anyone who is on a different side because they say you are a terrible person. At least that is what they say to me. They call me a racist, and elitist, and anti-gay, homophobic, anti-Islamic, anti-vaccine, anti-rabies, you name it. Think of something bad and that is what they will call me.


But I am a rather peaceful grandmother, who writes for a living. I live with my mother who, as most of you know is 101 years old. I am not a bad person. I don’t wish anyone ill. There is no group that I dislike especially. And certainly not any race or religion or sexual orientation that offends me just by being. I have friends in all those groups and others that I do not care for in the same groups. That is human. Normal. Get over it.

Some people are totally anti-woman. So what? They are outnumbered and the law supports women, not misogynists. But it seems a real waste of time to confront them. Everything is open to me as a woman. Why should I complain about sexism? Who cares? I am not a victim. I just go out and do what I wish to do.

There is no point in condemning a whole group. Individually we are all just humans, trying to get along. I learned years ago that keeping feelings of resentment and anger against another person, poisons the one who is holding onto evil feelings. It surprises me when I run into someone, like I did today who says, ” I will NEVER forget. I will Never forgive.”

I liked this woman immediately and I wanted to tell her the truth about what her attitude would end up doing to her. But I barely hinted at it. She must discover this for herself. As long as she is angry she will give power AWAY and she will give it TO THE VERY PEOPLE with whom she is angry.

Holding a grudge, holding resentment, holding anger are all like holding hot coals. Eventually you will burn yourself, if you refuse to let them go.

Let’s let go.

Today I read a wonderful post about Joe Biden.https://www.richmond.com/opinion/their-opinion/page-evans-column-hugging-makes-joe-biden-who-he-is/article_a1f16262-43b3-5a3d-957f-47dfa97e9d27.amp.html I am not a fan of Joe Biden. But the article was written by someone who is not only a fan, but a personal friend. Page Evans wrote this article for the Richmond Times Dispatch. She exposed the silliness of all these accusations against a man who is completely innocent of any wrong doing. He got caught up in the “Me, too” movements complete paranoia and fascism. Joe Biden is not a pedophile or a womanizer. And I feel sorry for him for what the Republicans are putting him through. They are mad because of what happened to poor Judge Kavanaugh. That was so embarrassing to the Left. They still have not figured that out. Good Heavens! A boy teenager. A girl, (maybe) and a possible memory. It is not enough to knock someone out of a job.

The point is, that everyone has their own take on a lot of these things. Some people will side with a Native American over a white boy, just because. Just like in the South, it was once the case that white people sided with the white boy. Times change. And what is OK changes with the times. There are some in my cohort who will never be reconstructed. You will just have wait for us to die off before all opposition ceases. I hope that is not too soon, because much of what they think is needed for balance.

Copyright©. 2019 Bonnie B. Matheson